


Spiders

by romanoffrights



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - No Apocalypse, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, Other, Quintuple Drabble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-09
Updated: 2019-03-09
Packaged: 2019-11-14 04:52:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18045839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romanoffrights/pseuds/romanoffrights
Summary: Five, time travelling master assassin, isn't particularly fond of spiders.Can't blame him.





	Spiders

**Author's Note:**

> Based off a Tumblr post.

It was about seven am. Five had awoken thirty minutes ago, but wasn't doing anything. He supposed he should be running errands, but that could wait a little bit longer.

The boy had a cup of coffee in his hands, and was staring at the scenery before him (empty seats and a window with a crack in it.)

He'd gotten an okay amount of sleep the night before. Four hours, maybe? Better than nothing.

The others were still asleep. Probably. Luther may be awake, Five was never sure with that man.

He brought the mug of coffee to his mouth, when something on the window caught his eye.

Medium sized, black, moving.

Oh.

Oh, fuck no.

Five dropped his mug, which wasn't a smart move, as it landed sideways and spilled onto the table. He cursed himself and scrambled to his feet, his chair falling backwards with a clang.

He blinked rapidly, watching the insect carefully. Without thinking, he quickly teleported to on top of the fridge.

Five hated this body more than anything, but he supposed it had a few perks.

The fact that he could still fit on top of the fridge just happened to be one of them.

He crossed his legs, and scanned the ground for the insect. The movement of it caught his eye, and he watched as it crawled under the table.

Yeah. Five would be fine up here for a bit. Wouldn't do any harm to wait.

"Five?"

A groggy female voice spoke from the entrance of the kitchen. Five froze, and looked over at the source. Vanya. Great.

"What are you doing on top of the fridge?" Vanya asked as she trudged her way over, one hand on her hip.

"Maybe I like it up here," Five hissed, "Maybe it's comfortable."

"Mhm." Vanya muttered, opening the fridge. Five moved backwards a bit.

Vanya rummaged through the contents of the refrigerator, and eventually pulled out a carton of orange juice, setting it on the counter.

"Wanna explain the spilled coffee as well?" Vanya questioned as she pulled a cup out of the pantry.

"No." Five answered briefly and blankly.

"Right." Vanya shook her head and poured herself a glass of juice, before putting it back in the fridge.

She took a long sip, and then stared up at Five, "So. Gonna tell me where the spider is?"

Five huffed, crossing his arms in a childlike manner. He didn't reply, and Vanya only stared up at him with the same blank expression.

"Or don't." She continued after a minute of silence, "You could just stay up there forever."

Five blinked rapidly, before sighing and giving in. "'s under the table." He muttered.

"That wasn't so hard, was it?" Vanya gave the boy a tired smile, before turning around and walking towards the table.

Five watched as she picked up the chair, moving it out of the way. It took her barely two minutes to kill the spider and remove the lifeless body from the floor and into the garbage.

Five teleported back down, and cleared his throat, "Thank you. For that. I guess." 

"You're welcome. Could you clean up the coffee?" Vanya asked with a hint of hope.

Five blinked and pretended to look at a watch, "Oh, would you look at the time."

"Five, I sw-"

A before Vanya could finish her sentence, Five was out in a flicker of blue.

"Asshole."


End file.
